Dismantling the Myth of the “Right Fit”
It’s Not Always About Them—Sometimes It’s About How You Showed Up
In the doula world, we hear it all the time:
“If they didn’t book, it just wasn’t the right fit.”
It’s a comforting idea. A way to ease the sting of a no, or the silence of a ghosted follow-up. And yes—sometimes, it is true. Sometimes a client truly needs something (or someone) different.
But here’s the truth most doulas never get told:
It’s not always about fit. Sometimes, it’s about communication.
Sometimes, they didn’t say yes not because you weren’t a good match—but because you didn’t clearly show them how and why you were a good fit.
Our Brains Don’t Automatically See Value—They Need Help
Most potential clients aren’t walking into a consultation with a detailed understanding of what a doula actually does.
They’re coming in with questions, emotions, maybe past trauma, and a general hope that this might help.
If you assume they already know your value—or that your warm energy is enough to carry the sale—you’re leaving too much to chance.
People don’t always book based on “vibe.” They book when they can see and feel the transformation you offer. And that’s not intuitive for everyone—it has to be communicated with clarity and intention.
“Right Fit” Can Be a Cover for Avoiding the Sales Conversation
It’s easy to say:
“They weren’t ready.”
“They chose someone cheaper.”
“We just didn’t click.”
And sometimes, yes, that’s real.
But sometimes it’s also this:
You didn’t lead the conversation confidently.
You didn’t ask discovery questions that helped them feel seen.
You didn’t connect your services directly to their needs.
You didn’t ask for the sale.
That doesn’t make you a bad doula. It just means you’re human—and you haven’t yet learned how to confidently guide someone to a decision.
💡 Clarity Builds Confidence. Confidence Builds Clients.
When people feel unsure, they stall. When they feel unclear, they delay.
Your job in a consultation isn’t just to listen. It’s to connect the dots between what they need and what you offer.
That’s not manipulation. That’s leadership.
You don’t need a script. You need skills—like:
Framing your services in client-centered language
Sharing relevant stories or results
Naming the value of your presence (not just your packages)
Asking clear, respectful questions about what’s holding them back
Actually offering the opportunity to book
🧘♀️ Owning Your Role Doesn’t Mean Forcing a Fit
None of this is about pushing or convincing.
It’s about stepping into your power as a professional guide—someone who knows the value of what they offer and can articulate it with love and clarity.
Because you are part of the fit, too.
And when you show up with confidence, leadership, and emotional presence, you don’t just hope for the right clients—you help them recognize you as the right choice.
🌱 The Bottom Line
“If it didn’t work out, it wasn’t the right fit” can be true.
But if you find yourself saying it often, or using it to explain away every no, it’s worth gently asking:
“Did I truly show up, speak clearly, and communicate my value—or did I leave them to figure it out on their own?”
You’re not here to wait for perfect clients to magically “click” with you.
You’re here to grow the skillset that makes your magic undeniable.
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Dismantling the Myth of the “Right Fit”
It’s Not Always About Them—Sometimes It’s About How You Showed Up
In the doula world, we hear it all the time:
“If they didn’t book, it just wasn’t the right fit.”
It’s a comforting idea. A way to ease the sting of a no, or the silence of a ghosted follow-up. And yes—sometimes, it is true. Sometimes a client truly needs something (or someone) different.
But here’s the truth most doulas never get told:
It’s not always about fit. Sometimes, it’s about communication.
Sometimes, they didn’t say yes not because you weren’t a good match—
—but because you didn’t clearly show them how and why you were.
Our Brains Don’t Automatically See Value—They Need Help
Most potential clients aren’t walking into a consultation with a detailed understanding of what a doula actually does.
They’re coming in with questions, emotions, maybe past trauma, and a general hope that this might help.
If you assume they already know your value—or that your warm energy is enough to carry the sale—you’re leaving too much to chance.
People don’t book based on “vibe.”
They book when they can see and feel the transformation you offer. And that’s not intuitive for everyone—it has to be communicated with clarity and intention.
“Right Fit” Can Be a Cover for Avoiding the Sales Conversation
It’s easy to say:
“They weren’t ready.”
“They chose someone cheaper.”
“We just didn’t click.”
And sometimes, yes, that’s real.
But sometimes it’s also this:
You didn’t lead the conversation confidently.
You didn’t ask discovery questions that helped them feel seen.
You didn’t connect your services directly to their needs.
You didn’t ask for the sale.
That doesn’t make you a bad doula. It just means you’re human—and you haven’t yet learned how to confidently guide someone to a decision.
Clarity Builds Confidence. Confidence Builds Clients.
When people feel unsure, they stall. When they feel unclear, they delay.
Your job in a consultation isn’t just to listen. It’s to connect the dots between what they need and what you offer.
That’s not manipulation. That’s leadership.
You don’t need a script. You need skills—like:
Framing your services in client-centered language
Sharing relevant stories or results
Naming the value of your presence (not just your packages)
Asking clear, respectful questions about what’s holding them back
Actually offering the opportunity to book
Owning Your Role Doesn’t Mean Forcing a Fit
None of this is about pushing or convincing.
It’s about stepping into your power as a professional guide—someone who knows the value of what they offer and can articulate it with love and clarity.
Because you are part of the fit, too.
And when you show up with confidence, leadership, and emotional presence, you don’t just hope for the right clients—you help them recognize you as the right choice.
The Bottom Line
“If it didn’t work out, it wasn’t the right fit” can be true.
But if you find yourself saying it often, or using it to explain away every no, it’s worth gently asking:
“Did I truly show up, speak clearly, and communicate my value—or did I leave them to figure it out on their own?”
You’re not here to wait for perfect clients to magically “click” with you.
You’re here to grow the skillset that makes your magic undeniable.
